I’ve worked with many long-term couples in sexless marriages. They didn’t start that way. We are all fairly clear that romance starts with lust. It takes a crowbar to make it out of the bedroom. Earlier in marriages it is harder to get out of bed than to get in it. And well it should be. In more mature marriages (5-7 or more years) it is harder get in bed. That goes hand in hand with evolution. Mother Nature cares more about reproduction that she cares about our feelings. In fact, she is quite happy to have us broaden the haploid bank by taking other lovers. It has been hypothesized that the 7 year itch is 7 years because that is how long it takes to get pregnant and to be protected while being an 8 – month, pregnant, slow waddling tiger-food-mom to be. And it takes about 7 years from conception for the fetus to become a child who can and start to contribute to its tribe. After that Mother Nature’s risk/reward assessment favors spreading the genes.

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