I don’t follow sports – especially politics – but I do like the movies. Personally, I see the entire newspaper as a giant sports report. We have the financial sports, geo-political sports, who out-lived whom sports, oh, and yeah, sports sports. While I do admire solo sports – I think solo sports represent the honing of one’s mettle and soul towards the aim of being the best you can possibly be, as opposed to competitive sports where the goal is to be named the best in the world as proved by the whopping of others. You can be the best in the world yet not achieve the best you can be. I believe solo sports to be a growth path and competitive sports to being a narcissistic beauty pageant. I am an avid avoider of competitive sports. I must say that the current election cycle is the dark winter of my discontent. My leanings are what they are – and are largely irrelevant to the “Olympic semi-finals” with which we are now bombarded. The conflation of so many other issues come into this Herculean pre-election sporting competition; that they distort a clear view of the character of the speakers. Continue reading
All posts by Dr. Ralph Diner
A CALL FROM A LOCAL TV STATION ABOUT LAUSD CLOSURE
Today I woke to a call from a local L.A. News station asking me to come on TV to talk about how to speak to our children about the LAUSD closure due to today’s terrorist threat. By time we had set up a time for me to come into the station; the event was essentially over. However, it seems we are seeing an increased likliehood of terrorism in our own neighborhoods. Continue reading
FEAR OF LEAVING YOUR COMFORT ZONE – GREAT SHIPS ARE SAFEST IN PORT YET GRANDEST AT SEA
Ah Synchronicity! Of late I have had a number of people I work with dealing with the fear of leaving their comfort zone and reaching for their dreams. Upon reflection, it seems to me that all of life is leaving one comfort zone for newer and stranger adventures. It starts with that quintessential leaving of our first comfort zone: the womb. Continue reading
THE 411 ON A REAL 911, IMO – OR HAVING A REAL LIFE AND BEATING A CELL PHONE ADDICTION
Cell phone addiction is a problem that began as a solution. You felt bored or lonely – you reached for the phone. You saw a great sunset – you reached for your phone. You reached for your phone – you reached for your phone – and now you reach for your phone like a true addict. Continue reading
QUESTION: WILL I EVER BE ABLE TO BECOME A RECREATIONAL USER?
QUESTION: WILL I EVER BE ABLE TO BECOME A RECREATIONAL USER?
[I recently did some work with a drug treatment IOP (Intensive Outpatient Program). Not surprisingly (as I had heard this same question from my private patients struggling with addiction) there was this hope of someday being able to attain and maintain “recreational User” status. To all those struggling with addiction and with the desire to modulate your addiction to recreational use – it is to you that this missive was penned.] Continue reading
SEXLESS MARRIAGE – WHERE’S WALDO
I’ve worked with many long-term couples in sexless marriages. They didn’t start that way. We are all fairly clear that romance starts with lust. It takes a crowbar to make it out of the bedroom. Earlier in marriages it is harder to get out of bed than to get in it. And well it should be. In more mature marriages (5-7 or more years) it is harder get in bed. That goes hand in hand with evolution. Mother Nature cares more about reproduction that she cares about our feelings. In fact, she is quite happy to have us broaden the haploid bank by taking other lovers. It has been hypothesized that the 7 year itch is 7 years because that is how long it takes to get pregnant and to be protected while being an 8 – month, pregnant, slow waddling tiger-food-mom to be. And it takes about 7 years from conception for the fetus to become a child who can and start to contribute to its tribe. After that Mother Nature’s risk/reward assessment favors spreading the genes.
HO HO HO – OH NO
When I was younger I used to make a joke that on the day after XMAS there were only 365 (or 366) shopping days left. I would usually notice the first Santa Claus on Labor Day add supplements in the newspapers.
Today is freaking June 28, 2015 and I just saw an Ellen Degeneres commercial for some sort of Xmas line she is hawking. Now, I enjoy the holiday season, and I like Ellen, but summer has just begun – a week ago! Please, go away Ellen; and anyone else hawking XMAS this early.
SEXLESS MARRIAGE – WHERE’S WALDO
I’ve worked with many long-term couples in sexless marriages. They didn’t start that way. We are all fairly clear that romance starts with lust. It takes a crowbar to make it out of the bedroom. Earlier in marriages it is harder to get out of bed than to get in it. And well it should be. In more mature marriages (5-7 or more years) it is harder get in bed. That goes hand in hand with evolution. Mother Nature cares more about reproduction that she cares about our feelings. In fact, she is quite happy to have us broaden the haploid bank by taking other lovers. It has been hypothesized that the 7 year itch is 7 years because that is how long it takes to get pregnant and to be protected while being an 8 – month, pregnant, slow waddling tiger-food-mom to be. And it takes about 7 years from conception for the fetus to become a child who can and start to contribute to its tribe. After that Mother Nature’s risk/reward assessment favors spreading the genes.
AGING WELL – HOW OLD WOULD YOU FEEL IF YOU DIDN’T KNOW YOUR AGE?
I am often asked about aging well. I answer with a question: ” How old would you feel if you didn’t know your age?” After some preamble, I ususally then hear something along the line, “it’s all in your mind, right?” Much as we would like to believe that aging is in your mind – it is just not so. The leading cause of death is …. birth.
NARCISSIM GONE WRONG – MORE IS NOT ENOUGH
There is no question that narcissism has made many great men and women in many different fields. However, recently many have asked me about narcissism gone wrong. This post is about that.
